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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A Look Back: Finding Out

As I look down at my stomach and realize that my belly button is almost completely flat now, it's hard to believe that I was once pregnant and still at my normal size and weight!

I am not usually one of those people who have great intuition about things, but all through January, I had a strong inkling that I would be missing my period that month. As the time drew near and a few days had past from its due date, I figured it was time to take a pregnancy test.

In the grocery store across from our house, I remember looking at my options...most will tell you if you're pregnant or not with lines and then a couple of brands offer the digital readout: "pregnant" or "not pregnant" (as Philip mentioned in the previous post). While there's much joking about how it's difficult to read the tests on tv and in the movies, I figured you really had to be an idiot if you couldn't tell by the lines. They were quite a few dollars cheaper, so I bought the non-digital test.

It's strange how when you do have a feeling of intuition, of already knowing something or what an outcome will be, how calm you feel. I felt secure in knowing that I would see a cross on the test (indicating I was pregnant), because I felt like I already knew anyway.

As Philip and his sister, Vicky, who was living with us at the time, made dinner in the kitchen downstairs, I slipped past them with my grocery bag and headed upstairs to the bathroom.

While the test's instructions tell you it can take a few minutes for it to produce the results, my pants were barely zipped back up when I saw the two lines intersecting. The horizontal intersecting line (the vertical is used as the control) was extremely faint, though. As I read the instructions thoroughly again, scanning for any mention of the light or darkness of the line, I knew in that moment that this is why women opt for the digital tests! I was officially one of the idiots.

Luckily, the instructions mention that the faintness of the line does not matter and I felt very confident the test was accurate, especially since I wasn't taking it for early detection.

I calmly waited through dinner and the rest of the evening to tell Philip. I had no idea what to say!

As I got into our bed for the night, I said, "I have something to show you. I don't really know how to do this, so, here," and handed him the test from behind my back.

Since Philip and I have talked about having children many times and even talked about the timing of having them, I knew he would be very excited and he was. I don't think he really knew how to react, though. He just smiled really big and he face turned a little red, but didn't even move to hug me! I told him that was probably the appropriate thing to do, so eventually he did.

Incredulity swept over - we were both so aware, yet so in disbelief that this little plastic thing was telling us our lives were about to change. I mentioned that the test was a 2-pack and he urged I take the 2nd test in the morning just to make sure. 

I was not surprised to see the same result in the morning. Plus sign = pregnant.

Philip, still in a state of happy shock, researched online and found out about the digital tests. I think he was intrigued at the fact that the stick would actually read the word "pregnant" on it. While running errands the following day, he insisted we buy one. I told him it would be a waste of money (they're not cheap!), but for some reason, seeing the word was apparently going to make him 100% believe it.

I took the test when we got home, my 3rd in 3 days. "Pregnant."

"Do you believe it now?!" I said, holding out the test for him to see. And so then it was true.


  1. I can't believe you were able to stay quiet about it through dinner! I would have been bursting at the seams! :)

  2. Thanks for including me in this email. Very interesting to hear your thought process and updates as your pregnancy progresses. Take care of yourself, Philip, and baby Ella. Hopefully one day we reside back in the Atlanta area.
    Much Love, Aunt Jody